I Will Remember You
by Luna-is-Loony
Summary: When Nick gets diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease, his and Jeff's lives get turned upside down.
1. Chapter 1

**April 13, 2024**

Jeff laughs. "The keys are on the bedroom table. You put them there when you got home. When we..." Nick's face scrunches together for a second, and his eyes look glazed over. "You weren't about to have sex with keys in your hand," Jeff says, and Nick's face lights up with realization.

"_Oh_. Oh, I remember that now." He shakes his head and blushes. "Of course. Wow, well, I feel like an idiot." Jeff reaches over, ruffling his hair and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"It's okay. You're _my_ forgetful idiot." Nick yelps as his hand wraps around his waist.

"Jeffie, that tickles!" Jeff laughs, only encouraged by that, and he reaches out, his fingers curling around his side, tickling him. Nick reaches out, trying to push away, and Jeff moves him closer, pressing kisses down his neck and laughing. "Stop it! Stop it!"

"Never." The keys are left forgotten on the bedside table, and they decide to get the groceries tomorrow.

**May 17, 2024**

"Jeff! Jeff!"

Jeff runs into the bedroom, alarmed. "What's wrong?" He moves over to Nick quickly, laying a hand on his shoulder as Nick glances about wildly.

"I can't find them. I can't. I've looked everywhere, and I've lost them." He looks like he's about to cry, and Jeff shakes his head, trying to look around, only to realize he doesn't know what Nick is talking about.

"Lost what, exactly?" He runs his fingers through Nick's hair soothingly. "Deep breaths. I'll help. We'll find it. I promise."

"My glasses. I lost two pairs in the past month, and I just - I can't find them." He looks near tears, so when Jeff bursts out laughing, Nick can't help but turn red and flail his arms. "It's not funny!" Leaning forward, Jeff presses a light kiss to his lips. Nick struggles for a moment before relaxing into the kiss. Slowly, Jeff turns him around to face a mirror, and Nick bursts out laughing as well.

"See, on your nose. Problem solved."

Nick groans. "Okay, now, that's embarrassing."

Jeff wraps his arms around him and can't help but notice the heavy bags under Nick's eyes as he peers at the both of them in the mirror. "Just a little. Hey, you okay?" Nick turns around, burying his face in his chest.

"What do you mean?" His voice is muffled as he speaks into the fabric, and his fingers clench around Jeff's shirt.

"You just look tired."

"I just haven't been sleeping well," Nick mutters, his eyes closing as he falls into Jeff's touch. Jeff leans down, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"All right." He moves Nick's hair from his eyes and smiles. "Now, you'd better hurry up for work before you're late."

**June 23, 2024**

"Jeff, come out. I'm sorry." Jeff perches on the edge of the bed, a part of him wanting to get up and open the door for Nick. He does sound like he honestly feels bad. He continues knocking. "Jeffie, Jeffie, please, I love you. I'm an idiot. Just open this door. Talk to me." Jeff's head falls in his hands, and he lets out a dry sob. "I never meant to forget your birthday."

Nick has never forgotten his birthday before. Sure, there is an element of hurt in that it was his birthday that Nick had forgotten, but more than that; it's the fact Nick's forgetting an awful lot recently. It had just been the little things at first, but Jeff had had to remind him of his dentist's appointment last month. Not to mention that losing his keys was becoming a near-daily occurrence. Jeff had to implement a special place to hang them, though Nick didn't always even remember to hang them up there either.

"Jeff?" There is a pause before Jeff hears footsteps echoing down the hall of their apartment. Jeff pauses before going over and unlocking the door. On the ground is a wrapped package with a card on it. He slowly bends down, slipping his finger under the envelope and opening it carefully, trying to avoid ripping the paper.

_Dear Jeffie,_

_I am buying you these presents and writing you this card in advance, so I'm sorry if it doesn't really fit when you read it. You know me and my obsession with doing things way in advance. Besides, I seem to be forgetting things a lot recently, so maybe it's better that I do this now._

_Remember when those people teased us at that __mall__ when we were little, and I held your hand and cried, and you told me to ignore them and kissed me? Remember how you told me that it didn't matter because we both knew that when __we were thirty and married, they wouldn't matter. I suppose we're not married, unless something changes in the next month, that is, but you are thirty, and we're still together._

_I love you so much, Jeff. You mean everything to me. You put up with a lot too; I know I'm not always easy to deal with. But we work together. You're my world. You're why I laugh and smile and why I'm so happy every day. Happy birthday. I hope I can make it special._

_Lots and lots and lots of love,_

_Nick_

_P.S. Okay, so the gifts are really silly and stupid, but they made me think of you._

Jeff trembles, tears welling up in his eyes as sets the card down. He lets out a sob and brings his sleeve to his eyes, wiping his tears away before opening the presents. He starts with the one that's obviously some sort of piece of clothing. It's soft and makes a crinkling sound as he opens it, and he pulls out a black shirt with Mario and Peach on it.

A laugh breaks through the sobs and he sniffles, reading the white text under it: _Will you be the Peach to my Mario_? As kids they'd always played games on the N64, and just as Nick had always insisted on playing Mario, he'd always chosen Peach as his default character. Nick had never teased him for it either. He was probably the only one who hadn't.

He smiles and reaches towards the other package. It's in a little cardboard box, and he lifts the lid to see a Time Turner. His sniffles again, and pulls it out, looking at it and sighing before slipping it over his neck. Quickly, he places the box on the table in his room and throws away the wrapping paper before going out.

Nick's sitting on the living room couch, curled up, his arms around his legs. He cries quietly, and his eyes are closed. Jeff stops several feet away from him, and Nick's eyes slowly open as he turns his head over to look at Jeff. "What's wrong with me?" he finally asks, his voice small, breaking. Jeff's breath seems to catch in his throat, and he falls down next to him.

"There's nothing wrong with you. We're going to go to the doctor's soon and get it checked out, okay? You'll see. It'll be fine." Jeff sits wraps his arms around him, pressing a kiss to his neck. Nick shakes his head wildly.

"But I can't… Sometimes I can't remember things, and I even forgot your birthday. I've known your birthday since I was four." He presses another kiss behind his ear.

"Whatever it is, we'll make it through together. I'm here for you." He holds out his hand, and Nick lays his on top. Their fingers lace together, and they sit there for a moment longer before Jeff speaks again.

"Thank you for the presents. The Time Turner's gorgeous, and the shirt… Well, let's just say that I'll always be your Princess Peach." Nick lets out a strangled laugh and faces Jeff.

"They made me think of you." Nick turns towards him, leaning his head against Jeff's chest and closing his eyes, his breathing unsteady at first but slowly calming down. "I love you, Jeffie."

Jeff reaches out, running his fingers through Nick's hair and smiling slightly, willing himself to relax. "Love you too, Nicky."

**July 2, 2024**

It takes a week before results from Nick's tests come back. The doctor's office seems barren except for the simple, cartoon painting in the background and the magazines on the corner. They both shift uncomfortably as the doctors walk in. The doctors say he's sick. Jeff figures that he doesn't need a doctor to tell him that much. What he wants to know is how to make Nick better, but they keep on throwing words around – words beyond his pronunciation capabilities that all slur together.

"Accumulation of aggregated amyloid fibrils…" They might as well be spouting gibberish, but all Jeff wants to hear is that he's okay. They continue on like that for the next five minutes, and everyone seems to increase in volume, speaking to him from all sides. Nick's grip on his around his hand tightens, and he looked around at all of them.

"But what does it mean?" Jeff finally asks, his voice quiet, afraid to hear the answer.

"We're afraid that Nick has early onset Alzheimer's. It's really rare among patients this young, though, almost unheard of." The doctor's faces are solemn, and they cross their hands politely in front of them, looking away as if that's enough privacy. Nick looks blankly straight on with such a dead look that it nearly kills Jeff. And Jeff, Jeff doesn't understand. Alzheimer's is a disease for sixty or seventy year-olds. People who have lives to forget…

But Nick's just thirty, and they haven't even done anything yet. There's no way that Nick can forget everything about him – forget _him_. He can't let that happen, but he doesn't know how to stop it, and the doctor's faces are grim and foreboding. A wave of nausea overcomes him, and he runs out of the room, looking for the bathroom. When he wildly turns into it, he drops to the group, not bothering to close the door behind him as he throws up into the toilet.

"No, no, please…"

He sits there for some time – he's unsure exactly how long – with his head pressed against the cold tiled floor, his legs curled up underneath him. It's a light tap on his shoulder that makes him finally sit up, and he doesn't need to turn around to know it's Nick, who says nothing to him – only gives him that emotionally void stare and holds out his hand.

Something in him registers that he shouldn't be the one being comforted when Nick's just found out that his world is falling apart and fading away, but Jeff can't pull himself together. There's so much he wanted to do, but that's all become impossible. They've had a whole life taken away from them.

"Help him, please," Jeff begs when they return to the room and sit down next to each other, their fingers linked. The doctors give him an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry. There's no cure." It's impossible not to wonder how life can be so unfair. _Why Nick_, Jeff can't help but wonder.

"Is there anything we can do to slow it down?" Jeff asks, and he feels Nick's hand tremble in his, though he remains stoic and mute.

"They're not one hundred percent effective, and early onset Alzheimer's progresses faster than regular..."

They spend the next twenty minutes telling him potential ways of delaying the progression. By the end, Jeff is sick of the phrase "no guarantee," and his hand hurts from Nick's grip. Still, other than nodding his head a few times and making small non-committal sounds, Nick doesn't respond at all.

In fact, it's only when they get to the car that Nick breaks down. Jeff hasn't even put the keys in the ignition when he hears a broken sob, and he looks over to see Nick bent over, his fists balled up tightly. "_Fuck_!" His voice is a hoarse scream, and he starts shaking violently. Jeff's eyes prickle, and his chest tightens. He starts reaching out, but before he's even halfway towards Nick, Nick turns around, falling into Jeff and clutching him tightly.

"I can't do this. I can't." He sobs, and Jeff breaks down again as well, tightening around him.

"I love you so much." Jeff doesn't know what else to say, and Nick's fingers dig into him as they move closer. His head tilts up, and their lips brush together. The kiss is desperate, and Nick bites down as if trying to bite through Jeff's lips. His hands go up, and he pulls through Jeff's hair, and Jeff lets out a yelp as Nick's fingers pull through the knots. When they finally pull back, Nick curls back up against him.

Jeff's arms wrap around him, and he lets out a shaky sigh. "Jeffie, Jeffie," Nick murmurs, his voice broken. "I'll never forget you."

**July 3, 2024**

The next day when Jeff gets back home, he finds the apartment filled with an amazing aroma. Nick's home far earlier than he usually is. Though he rarely cooks, when Jeff walks into the kitchen, he's greeted by Nick wearing an apron, smiling and pulling something out of the stove. "What is this?"

"Tuna."

Jeff nods, remembering what they said yesterday about how cold-water fish that are rich in omega-3 are beneficial. As soon as Nick sets it down on the table, the bowl full of vegetables following, Jeff pulls him into a hug and a light kiss.

"You know that I love you, right?" How many times will he get to say that where Nick will still remember? He presses their cheeks together, and their fingers link. Nick leans into him, and they sit there for a moment, not caring that the food's getting cold. Nick's hand trembles, and Jeff gives it a light squeeze. There's a moment where Nick looks sadly at him, and then they pull apart, tense smiles back on their faces.

"Of course I know that you love me. Just like you know that I love you." The reply's late, but it relaxes them again. It's nearly impossible to ease back into a normal rhythm, and still they can't help but be afraid of every minute they're losing. Slowly, they sit back down in their own seats to eat.

"The tuna's really good," Jeff says, taking a bite. Nick nods, thankful for the change of subject. "Yeah, it's a new recipe. You always said that I was a good at it and should cook more." He laughs, and Jeff feels his stomach fall. That makes him sound so demanding and needy. When his mouth opens and nothing comes out, Nick realizes his mistake. "I didn't mean it –"

"I know." Jeff swallows thickly, and his fork falls to the plate. His head falls into his empty hands. It's never been this awkward between them. Everything is coming out wrong, and Jeff just wants to pretend like yesterday never happened, like it isn't true. He shakes and his fingers dig into his scalp.

"Please don't cry." Nick's voice cracks, and Jeff looks up to see him crying. He still holds his fork loosely in his hands, though the piece of tuna on it has fallen off. "I hate it when you cry."

Jeff moves out of his chair, a lump in his throat, and he moves into the chair next to Nick, scooting it over so that they're pressed together. His hand reaches up, brushing the hair out of Nick's face before running his fingers down Nick's cheeks to brush the tears away. Though he has every right to cry, he knows that he can't; Nick needs him to be strong.

"It'll be okay," he murmurs, holding onto Nick and rocking him back and forth. Nick looks at him with wide eyes and shakes his head.

"But it won't." Nick said, his head falling to Jeff's chest. He lets out a sob, and Jeff pulls him closer, his grip tightening.

"We can pretend that we get that happily ever after," Jeff tries, his voice low and begging.

"Fine. We'll live until we're ninety. We'll have two point five children, and a house with a white fucking picket fence. Is that what you want?" Jeff knows Nick's only lashing out because he's afraid, but the words still sting. He lets his head fall down on top of Nick's.

"Please," Jeff tries again, deflated and defeated.

"No, I'm not going to lie for you. It isn't going to happen. I'm _dying_, Jeff. I'm going to forget you and think I'm all alone, and then I'm going to be dead, and you're going to have to go on, and it isn't fucking fair."

Jeff feels like his heart his shattering, but he doesn't say anything. Instead he holds Nick closely, running his fingers through his hair carefully and slowly. He hears Nick's breath hitch as he breaks down, and he rocks him back and forth, a small, quiet hum escaping his lips.

It takes a long time before Nick calms down, and when he does, he looks up at Jeff with wide, scared eyes before kissing him gently. Jeff's hand wraps around his neck, pulling him closer before peppering his jaw and cheek with more kisses. "My Nicky. My everything," he breathes, feeling himself start to relax.

Though it's quiet, that's what they both need, and they slowly rock against each other as their fingers lace together. "It'll be okay," Jeff murmurs, and this time Nick doesn't challenge him. Instead he agrees with a slight nod of his head.

"You're perfect," Nick replies after a long while. Jeff can't help but smile, moving back and stifling a small chuckle.

"No, but I try. Close enough," he teases.

"Shush, you." They sit there for a few more minutes in pure silence before Jeff's brow furrows. There's the faintest whiff of something that shouldn't be there. He turns his head, looking around the kitchen.

"Is something burning?" Jeff asks, his head turning around. Nick's eyes widen, and he scrambles away from Jeff.

"Shit! I forgot about the cookies." He grabs an oven mitt, pulling the cookies out and setting them on the counter. "I can't believe I forgot the cookies," he says with a small pout. Jeff can't help but burst out laughing.

Perhaps it's the subject that does it. He isn't even fully aware why, but Nick's joining in after a moment. They sit there, clutching the table, laughing to the point of tears. There is a pain with every raggedy breath, and he doubles over, clutching his side.

The two of them continue laughing until they are both reduced to whimpers, their sides sore. "I love you," Jeff says, wrapping his hands around Nick's waist again. Nick nods.

"I love you too." They sit curled up against each other again, afraid to pull back. Neither says anything of much importance, and their breathing slows down, back to normal. There's nothing about the moment that doesn't seem perfect if Jeff could learn to weed out the main… issue and have a selective memory. That doesn't matter, though. What matters is that they're both dealing with it together. And each moment he can make Nick happy is worth something.

When it comes time to it, they eat the cookies cold and burnt, but neither of them seems to notice.

**August** **21, 2024**

"Smile for the camera," Jeff says, snapping a picture. Nick instead turns around, sticking his tongue out and laughing. "Oh, fabulous. Real model-shot, there." Jeff shows Nick the picture – Nick looks a little cross-eyed, and his face is slightly blurred, caught with his tongue midway out.

"Hey, give that back! Delete it!" Nick flails, and Jeff holds it out of reach before scampering off. He hears footsteps behind him, and turns around just as Nick lunges out at him. They fall backwards to the grassy ground, and Jeff groans.

"Ow." He pulls his head up and rubs at the back of his head. "I'm still not deleting the photo."

"Pretty please with kisses on top?" Slowly he bends down and presses his lips to Jeff's. The camera falls from Jeff's hand and he wraps his arms around Nick. There a moment of quiet followed by a soft moan from Nick as one of Jeff's hands finds its way to his hair.

"Gorgeous."

"Uh-huh, yeah, look who's tal – _oh_…" Nick groans as Jeff rolls his hips and his other hand slips underneath the hem of Nick's shirt, tracing his hip bone.

"You were saying?" Jeff's slightly out of breath as he nips at Nick's lips, and his eyes widen as Nick eyes close and he lets out another low moan.

"Maybe we shouldn't do it here. Anyone could find us. It's a public park, after all," Nick mumbles, looking hesitant to say it. After a moment, Jeff nods and slips his hand out from under Nick's shirt. His eyes trace down Nick's body and he presses a final, light kiss to his lips.

"When we get home?"

"When we get home," Nick agrees.

**September 09, 2024**

Jeff turns the stove off after Nick leaves the room, though he doesn't say anything to Nick. He doesn't want to worry him. Part of him always worries when he's out that Nick will decide to cook but leave the stove on, do something wrong and let the apartment catch on fire. It's not so much the apartment that he's worried about as much as Nick, but he decides not to bring it up.

"You coming?" Nick calls from the living room. "I'm going to start without you."

"You'd better not!" Jeff grabs the bowl of popcorn and darts out of the room, setting it on the table before jumping at the couch, finding his way under the covers and pressing up next to Nick. They press the play button and let the trailers and commercials for movies already long-released play through as they turn and press kisses to each other's lips and neck.

"Wait a second," Nick mutters, pulling back and staring at_ The Little Mermaid_ trailer. "Which movie are we watching again?" Jeff's heart dips, and he take Nick's hand under the covers, giving it a light squeeze.

"_Aladdin_, remember?" Jeff murmurs, and his hand pulls up to brush the hair out of Nick's forehead. A look of remembrance sparks in Nick's eyes.

"Oh, right, right… Yeah, that's it." There's a small pause before Nick adds, "Because it's your favorite Disney movie." Jeff's lips curl up into a small smile. Maybe things aren't quite that bad.

"Yup. It's clearly superior to _The Little Mermaid_," he teases, sticking his tongue out.

"Hey!" Nick pouts before leaning over, taking Jeff's tongue in his mouth and sucking lightly. His hand reaches up behind Jeff's neck, and he pulls the blond closer. "My Jeffie." Jeff feels his face flush as he nods, leaning back into the kiss.

The start menu runs through its little song a total of eighteen times before they finally press play.


	2. Chapter 2

**September 30, 2024**

Jeff wakes up to the sound of Nick sobbing. He's curled up, his fingers bunched in the sheets. At first, Jeff thinks Nick's having a nightmare. He looked like it, doubled over, sobbing hysterically, shaking. But when Nick looks up, his eyes _wide open_, Jeff realizes it's something else entirely. "Nick, what's wrong?" Jeff reaches out, grabbing Nick by the side, his heart beating frantically and his chest tightening as Nick looks up at him with big, vulnerable eyes.

"I can't – I can't…" Nick can't get the words out, and instead he shakes his head, continuing to sob. Reaching out, Jeff wraps his arms around Nick, making small shushing noises.

"Nicky, please…"

It takes a moment for him to respond. His breathing is too ragged, and he shakes his head frantically. When he looks up at Jeff again, there's terror in his eyes, and he has to take a second to calm down before he can even articulate it.

"I can't remember – our –" He starts sobbing again, but all Jeff can hear is what he just said. What is he forgetting that's so important? That would make him this break down like this? Nicks fingers reach out and curl into his arms, and Jeff yelps out in pain. "Our first kiss – what was it like? W – where did – did we…?" He can't get out anymore, and Jeff lays there, his throat closing.

The world stops for a moment, and Jeff has to tell himself to breathe, to be the strong one. He can't break down while Nick's sobbing in his arms, his wet cheeks pressed up against Jeff's chest. So, instead, he continues making a shushing sound, running his fingers through Nick's hair, feeling his eyes prickle and pushing back the tears.

"Do you want me to tell you? Maybe it'll help you remember." His voice is soft, and he presses a kiss to the top of Nick's head, trying to ignore the growing ache in his heart. When Nick nods, he takes an unsteady breath, his eyes squeezing shut, and in one hand, his fingers curl in, the nails pressing in painfully to his palm, leaving angry red crescents.

"Jeff?" Nick whimpers. "Please, tell me." Jeff takes a deep breath, and Nick pulls back so that their noses are brushing against each other. His eyes are red and puffy, and he's still crying slightly. Jeff's hand continues playing with his hair for a moment or two longer before he somehow dredges up the effort to smile.

"Tenth grade, we were outside in the courtyard," Jeff begins, feeling like he's telling a fairytale, not a memory. "We were teasing each other. I had ice cream, and I kept on trying to get you to notice me by eating it as seductively as possible." He let out a small laugh and his eyes watered as Nick listened in eagerly as if this were the first time he had heard it.

"What happened next?"

Jeff's heart breaks a little more as he asks the questions with a childish eagerness. "I dropped the ice cream. I was so focused on trying to lure you in that I wasn't paying attention, and I let it fall to the ground."

Nick's eyes close as he tries to pull it back up from the fragment of his memories, and the creases in his forehead become more defined. "What did it feel like that day? I mean, how hot was it?" He's trying so hard to remember, but the fact that he can't draw it up seems to be frustrating him because he lets out a small, frustrated sound.

"It was really hot and humid. It was late April. Just one of those days where you don't feel like doing anything because everything's just kinda sticky." Nick nods. "Anyway, you told me that it served me right. I felt brave, and I turned to you, and I just looked at you and... said it."

"Said… what?"

Jeff's hand falls down, and he traces Nick's jaw line before moving to his lips. His head hurts, and he wants this just to be a dream. "I think what I said was 'I kinda sorta think I have a crush on you maybe,' except I remember it mostly coming out as one word." He closes his eyes, and he can almost see Nick's expression when he turned to him. "You looked over, and I thought you were going to be angry." He shakes his head. He can feel a flicker of that fear, for a moment when he thought he'd lose everything. "And then you –"

"I said that I thought it was just me," Nick said, and Jeff's heart slowly stutters back into life.

"Yes." Nick's eyes open and his lips move into an unsteady smile. "Yes, you did," Jeff repeats. He hasn't forgotten completely – not yet.

"And you leaned in and kissed me. You told me you'd wanted to do that since ninth grade. That you were crazy about me and that you wanted to do that again, and you asked me whether you could…" The words now pouring out of Nick's mouth as his eyes lit up again, and he let out a shaky breath. "I remember."

It was still between them for a moment before Jeff leaned forward, pressing their lips together frantically. His hand went up to Nick's cheek, and he pulled the other boy closer, his other hand falling to the back of his neck. Nick's name fell out of his lips again and again as Jeff finally broke down. Their kiss was raw and desperate, and when they pulled back, Jeff's head lay limply on the pillow.

"I love you. Don't you ever forget that. Don't you ever…" he said, shaking, knowing that wasn't really an option. Nick's hand moves up, and he slowly brushes away Jeff's tears, now the one giving comfort. Nick pulls him to his chest, rocking him back and forth.

**October 18, 2024**

Nick quits his job. At this point, they can't afford him forgetting things. As a teacher, he needs to keep track of meetings and homework and test and grading, and it's not something that he can sort out on a calendar. It's not easy for Jeff to support both of them, and he gets another job, hating knowing that he's losing time with Nick in doing so, but there's no other alternative.

"Dance with me!" Nick is moving around, jumping across the room, his hips shaking from side to side with the beat. Jeff can't help but laugh, and he gets up. "My Jeffie." Nick's in one of his better moods, and he wraps his arms loosely around Jeff's waist.

"My Nicky," Jeff echoes, and they both grind up against each other. He pauses for a second before asking, "What's the song?"

"No idea. Radio station. But it's catchy, right?" Jeff nods, and he tilts his head forward, pressing their lips together. Nick groans into them before pulling closer against him, rolling his hips. Jeff gasps, and Nick continues to grind against him, their cocks meeting through the fabric.

"You're mine," Jeff says before biting down on Nick's lip, his hands fumbling downwards and undoing the button and zipper of Nick's pants. For a moment Nick's eyes simply widen, and then suddenly he's letting out a low moan, his body keening and arching to meet Jeff's.

They make quick work of getting rid of Nick's pants and boxers, and Jeff presses him backwards, shoving him against the couch. "Jeff…" The name comes out of Nick's mouth low and needy, and Jeff smirks up at him before kneeling down to wrap his mouth around Nick's cock. Their movements are fast and fervent, and Jeff rolls his hips against the floor, trying to find some friction.

His tongue swirls around this tip of Nick's cock, and he tastes the pre-come, a shiver riding through him as Nick's fingers move down, tangling themselves into his hair. He looks up and their eyes meet, Nick's eyes narrowing. "You're the one who bent down, Jeffie. Just remember that when I'm fucking your mouth," Nick growled, and Jeff whimpered in response. Nick let him at his own pace for a minute or two, and Jeff took him whole before pulling back and tracing the underside, licking stripes down it and following veins.

"You're so hot when you get like this," Jeff says, and Nick grabs his hair, giving it a tug and silencing him as he takes Nick into his mouth again. This time, Nick's hips jerk forward, thrusting deeply into Jeff's mouth. Jeff loosens his throat, doing his best to take it all, and his cheeks hallow. Nick moans, a shiver riding up Jeff's spine as Nick continues moving faster and harder. His breathing hitches, and his fingers dig into Jeff's scalp as he runs them through, over and over with more force.

Jeff can barely take it, and he gags several times as he tries to remember how to breathe. His fingers make their way to Nick's thighs, and he settles there, groaning and shivering under Nick's touch. It takes Nick several more syncopated thrusts, and suddenly he's coming, holding Jeff in place. It's only when he's absolutely spent that he collapses, his breathing heavy.

Jeff chokes and sputters, a bit of the come dribbling down his chin, and his arm goes up, his sleeve wiping it away. Jeff swallows what he can, and his tongue darts out, tracing his lips and trying to lick up the rest. Nick's eyes open, and he stares at him, suddenly loving and soft. One hand reaches out, and he cups Jeff's cheek before pulling him closer, pressing their lips together.

For a moment everything's perfect. And, really, for right now, why does anything outside that moment even count?

**November 02, 2024**

Jeff's looking through a drawer, trying to sort a few things out and clean the room when he stumbles upon it. Before he even opens it, he can tell what it is. What else could it be? The two-by-two box is a lovely shade of indigo, and the velvet feels soft under his touch. When he opens it, sure enough, there sits an engagement ring, the band thin and silver. On the inside, a tag sticks out, declaring the material to be sterling silver.

His heart seems to lift, and he can't help but wonder whether or not he should put it back. Maybe he's spoiling the surprise. He thinks for a moment, flipping it around in his hand and letting out a small laugh. Nick wants to marry him. Jeff can't help but let out a small, excited squeak, and he leans against the wall.

Before he can contemplate things any further, though, Nick walks into the room. Jeff goes to put the box behind his back, but it's too late, and he's already seen it.

"Jeff… what's that?" Nick pauses, his head tilting to the side before his head lifts, eying Jeff curiously.

"I'm sorry. I was looking through, and I found it. I shouldn't have been snooping, but…" He bounces up and down, a wide grin on his face as he runs over to Nick, hugging him and knocking them backwards into the hallway.

"What are you talking about?" Nick asks, and his brow furrows. He looks down at the box, and Jeff sighs.

"Okay, okay, funny. Gig's up. I found it. You really don't need to pretend anymore," Jeff says, and he tugs them into the living room, thinking about who he needs to tell and who he wants to tell. Nick's eyes widen as he looks down at it. He seems genuinely confused, and he shakes his head frantically.

"Are you proposing to me? 'Cause this is an awful way to do it."

Jeff's lips purse, and he drops one hand to his waist as he lets out a frustrated sigh. "Why would I propose to you with your ring?"

"It's not my ring!" Nick pulls back from him, looking flustered, and Jeff's throat starts to close.

"Don't tease. It's not funny anymore." Nick pulls out of his grip and throws his hands up to the air.

"I'm not trying to be fucking funny! If you'd actually listen to a word I'm saying…" All the joy Jeff had felt mere moments ago seems to have evaporated, and he clenches his jaw and impulsively throws the box down at the ground. It falls between Nick's feet, but he doesn't dare pick it up. Instead, his eyes stay fixed on Jeff, watching as he wrings his hands, his fingers occasionally flexing and digging deeply into his skin.

"No, you bought the box!"

Nick's faces falls under a sort of fog as Jeff says it. He shakes his head madly, and he pushes back, his mouth opening and closing. "No, I'd remember. I'd – I wouldn't forget something that big." Somewhere inside of him, Jeff tries to ignore that his heart twists and tugs and that he wants to reach forward and hug Nick. But that's shoved aside as he shakes. Nick was forgetting it all. He was forgetting that he wanted them to get _married_.

"Well, I sure as hell didn't buy it, and I'm not the one with a fucking memory problem!" Jeff shouts before he can help it, his lips drawing back in a snarl. His throat closes as his head pounds. For a moment he teeters before he slowly gains focus again. Nick's starting to tear up, his head moving about wildly.

"Don't say that. Don't say that." There's no excuse, no other explanation. And it keeps on flashing in his mind; if Nick could forget buying and engagement ring, he could forget it if they get married. Does he want that? A husband who won't even realize that they're –

Jeff tilts over, his stomach _burning_. He feels Nick's hand on his shoulder, and he pulls back as if burned. His head hurts, the thoughts pressing in, pestering him, reminding him: Nick will forget. Nick will forget. Nick will forget.

With that, he pushes Nick away, walking over to the coat stand. "I need a walk." His voice is tight and it shakes.

"Jeff, wait, please –"

Jeff slams the door behind him, and he takes the stairs down, not having the patience to wait for the elevator. Every bit of him starts to crumple as Nick's blank expression registers and flashes across his mind again. Nick, his Nicky, had just left the ring untouched.

Jeff somehow finds his way to the park and perches himself on the edge of a swing. He jams his hands in his pockets, and slowly he rocks back and forth as his teeth chatter. It's only now that he breaks down. His breath suddenly becomes ragged, and he shakes more violently, though it has nothing to do with the cold this time. Nick's steadily forgetting things, and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

For the most part up to now he'd managed to accept it, or, at least, put it at the back of his mind. But the ring reminds him of the normal life they could have had. His hand reaches up, pulls out of his pocket, and he grabs the Time Turner that hangs around his neck. His eyes close as a wave of guilt passes over him, and he replays what he shouted at Nick. 

His feet feel frozen as he pulls himself off of the swing and ambles back to their apartment. It's quiet; most houses have their lights off at this point. The door's still unlocked when Jeff tries it, so he pushes it open. There's a small sob from the couch. Jeff looks over to find Nick curled up, the box in his lap and the ring clutched tightly between his fingers. He rubs it with his thumb one more time before looking over at Jeff. His eyes are red and puffy, his shoulders slumped over. It's the look of _defeat_ that gets to Jeff.

"I'm sorry." Jeff's the first one to say anything, but Nick shakes his head.

"No, you were right. I forgot it, and —" There's a long pause before he lets out a shaky sob. "I don't want to forget you." The ring disappears in his hand as his fingers wrap around it, clutching it tightly in his palm. Jeff rushes over, falling down beside him and wrapping his arms around Nick, pulling him to his chest.

"Shh, love. It'll be okay." Nick doesn't bother denying it even though they both know that's not something Jeff can promise.

"I can't marry you." Nick's voice is small. "I don't want you attached to me, stuck with me even when I - when I don't know who you are. You deserve a husband who can give you a life - a whole life." Jeff shakes his head, feeling a dull, numb ache build up in his chest.

"I don't want just anyone. I want you. We can do it." He takes a breath before asking, "When did you buy it?"

"Two weeks ago," Nick says with hesitation, his palm finally opening and revealing a deep, red circle marked into his hand. "I wanted to ask you when I got home, but you came home exhausted, and I wanted it to be perfect." A low, bitter laugh comes from his mouth. "Yeah, it sure turned out perfect, all right."

Jeff leans in, running his fingers through Nick's hair before pressing a kiss to his temple. "It doesn't matter. As long as it's with you." It's so far from how he imagined it, but that doesn't matter. They have to make it work somehow.

"That's not fair of me to ask that of you, Jeffie. I just — you should find someone after I'm gone." Jeff winces at the way he says it, and he shakes his head.

"Stop it. You make it sound like you're going to die."

"I will eventually. Besides, I might as well be dead already." Jeff turns Nick's head and his eyes narrow.

"Hey, stop it, will you?" He feels an overwhelming sense of irritation bubble up inside of him. "God knows how much longer we have together, and you're trying to spend it moping and moaning." Nick's lips purse together, his eyes narrow, and he pushes himself out of Jeff's grasp. His voice is low and cold when he speaks, and he moves further back against the other end of the couch when Jeff tries reaching out again.

"I think, I have some _right_ to mope and moan, thanks."

Jeff deflates and shakes his head, feeling exhausted and sick of this all. "This is coming out wrong. Please, Nick -"

"Please what exactly? Please try to be happy about it? Because that's not going to happen." Jeff's stomach knots, and he stands up, throwing his hands up in the air and clenching his jaw.

"Fine. I'm trying, Nick. I really am. I don't want to lose you, but I don't have any control over that. It's just scary, and…" He feels his eyes burning. "I – I can't…" Jeff turns, walking out of the room, and he hears the couch creak.

"Jeff, wait. I - I'm sorry." Jeff shakes his head, though he pauses for a moment before leaving the room, making his way to the bedroom. He shuts the door and makes it to the bed before the door opens again, and Nick's head peeks in.

"Go away, I'm crying and I don't want you to see me," Jeff says with a small, choked laugh, his throat closing as he falls back on the bed and turns away. Nick laughs quietly as well, though he doesn't say anything. He simply pulls up behind him on the bed and wraps his arms around Jeff's waist. Jeff closes his eyes as Nick presses a kiss to the back of neck and sighs.

After a moment he turns around. They face each other, the room darkening as the sun sets slowly. Their noses and foreheads press together, and they just breathe, staring at each other, afraid to say a word and somehow screw this up again. Jeff lets out a sigh and decides to speak first, his hand moving out to run along Nick's jawline. "I don't want to fight. Not now."

"Me either," Nick agrees quietly, his hand moving forward and setting on Jeff's free one. Jeff falls into him, and their lips lightly brush up together. Slowly, Jeff traces his lips before easing them open. He maps Nick's mouth before slowly slipping Nick's tongue out, sucking lightly on it. Nick shudders underneath him, and their eyes both open to continue looking at each other.

Jeff wants to memorize the moment, ingrain it in him so that, when the time comes that they can't have moments like these anymore, he'll at least have the memories to help him. Memories won't be an adequate replacement, he's sure, but they're still _something_. They fall silent again and stay wrapped up in each other.

When Nick nudges his nose against Jeff, Jeff can't help but smile, and they both laugh as if it's some sort of personal joke between them. For the moment, they force everything else out of their minds. They pretend as if they hadn't just fought, and instead fall asleep pressed up against each other, smiles on both pairs of lips.

**February 26, 2025**

"I remember when we first became friends," Jeff says, tears forming in his eyes as he gives Nick a warm smile. "I'd left my lunch at home, and you sat down next to me to offer some of your mac 'n' cheese. And when I asked you why, you said that friends share with their friends." Nick's hands reach out, and he lightly squeezes Jeff's arm, his own eyes watering. "You've been my best friend, my lover, my everything, Nicky." There's a pause where you can hear people in the audience shift position and rustle.

"I know I can't protect you from everything. If I could, we'd have a long, whole life together. We'd grow old and take pictures of ourselves to show the kids, travel all around the world, and maybe eventually agree on whether Spiderman or Batman's better, though we both know it's Spiderman." Nick opens his mouth to protest, but a small, affectionate chuckle comes out instead. Similar ones echo throughout the rest of the people sitting down and watching them.

"But that's not something I'm capable of doing." Jeff's voice loses its joking edge, and his face falls completely. "I'm going to lose you, and soon, but I can't let you leave this world without getting a chance to experience at least a little of what we could have had." Sighing, Jeff runs his hands through his hair and looks at Nick with a small, hopeful smile that quickly dies away.

"I can't promise that we'll have a full life, but I promise to take care of you, to love you, to be yours completely." There's a light pause. "I already am." He took the ring, slowly holding Nick's hand steady and slipping it on. "I know you're not big on symbols, Nicky," he teased, "but this ring is a symbol of all of that. It's a symbol of everything we are, were, and will be. I love you. Will you be my husband?"

Nick can't help it anymore, and he nods, tears breaking through his barriers as he admires the ring for a moment before throwing his arms around Jeff.

"I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the groom." They both laugh and don't hesitate to follow the instructions, everyone else fading away as they kiss.

If for only a moment, they can pretend to have a happily ever after waiting for them.


	3. Chapter 3

**March 08, 2025**

The dinner seems to be going surprisingly well. Blaine and Kurt were "in the area," so they figured it would be nice to see each other again. There's a lot to catch up on. Blaine and Kurt are married now. They lift their hands up to show their rings and look at each other with wide smiles and light blushes on their cheeks.

"You've really learned how to cook, Jeff. Last time I met you, it was burnt toast and Ramen," Kurt jokes, taking the final bite of his pasta carbonara. Blaine nods in agreement, and Jeff grins.

"Thanks, guys. I've tried moving away from the whole 'boxed food' phase." Leaning over, he rests his head on Nick's shoulder, looking up at him. Nick looks somewhat confused. "You okay?" Jeff whispers, reaching up and stroking his hair. Nick jumps a little and looks down uncomfortably at Jeff before nodding.

"Yeah, fine. Sorry." Something's clearly off, but it doesn't seem enough to bother Nick because a smile – albeit a slightly tense one – comes across his face.

"No, it's fine," Blaine says, and he gives one of his wide smiles to Nick, his eyes crinkling at the edges. There's a pause before Blaine says, "So, we were wondering whether maybe you guys wanted to come up in the summer." Kurt swallows before excitedly nodding.

"Oh, yeah! I was – Should I say it, Blaine, or do you want to?" Blaine laughs and kisses Kurt on the cheek.

"It's your news to share." Kurt nods before turning back, wringing his hands together excitedly and bouncing slightly in his seat.

"So, uh, my first Broadway show… I kind of landed a role as Angel in the Broadway revival of _RENT_." He laughs excitedly, and Blaine wraps his arms around him, a look of pride in his eyes.

"Congratulations!" Jeff says, grinning. "Of course we'll come, right, Nick?" Nick nods as well, and he smiles.

"Congrats. Woah, Broadway." He nods his head, looking surprised, and Jeff laughs. He's glad for Kurt; it wasn't everyday someone's dream – especially one that big – came true.

"I'm going to go grab dessert," Jeff says, and Kurt stands up.

"I'll help. I can't sit still anyway." Jeff grabs the plates, and they head out into the kitchen.

"Really, though, congrats," Jeff says as they walk through the door. He sets down the plates in the sink before turning and hugging Kurt.

"Thanks, Jeff. I really couldn't have done it without Blaine's help, though." There's a pause between them as Jeff pulls back and opens the fridge, and he hears Kurt shift. When he looks up, cheesecake in hand, the smile on Kurt's face has disappeared.

"I – I was wondering how Nick's doing."

_Oh_. Jeff sets the cake down on the counter and purses his lips.

"Okay. Some days are harder than others, but mostly he's fine."

"He just hasn't said much, and – I don't know. I'm sorry."

Jeff can't look Kurt in the eyes. He can't admit that he's jealous of what Kurt has with Blaine. Because whether they have a shitty day or a fantastic one, at least they know that they have thousands of them ahead.

"It's fine. At least I have him for now," Jeff says, still staring down at the floor. He notices Kurt moving forward, and there are two arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"It isn't fair. I'm sorry. Both of you deserve so much more," he says. Jeff nods and smiles as Kurt squeezes his hand and pulls back. "Feel free to call any time if you need someone to talk to or just…"

"Thanks." Jeff nods, and they head into the kitchen, smiling and holding the cake.

It's another three hours before they leave. They all hug each, saying their goodbyes at the door. Jeff pulls Blaine into a hug first and does the same with Kurt. Nick does the same with Blaine, smiling widely. When he turns to Kurt, though, he doesn't go for a hug. "It was nice meeting you," Nick says, extending a hand and smiling. Jeff's heart seems to stop for a moment.

Kurt freezes, unsure what to say, and Jeff pulls back, shaking his head. This can't be happening. The most he's forgotten is maybe the mailman, Jerry. But Kurt's been their friend for years. He's known them since they were sophomores in high school. He watches Blaine slowly place a hand on Nick's shoulder, his eyes wide and unsure.

"Nick, this is –"

"No, Blaine, it's fine. It's nice to meet you too, Nick," Kurt says. His voice is slow, and he sucks in his lips worriedly.

When Jeff lets out an audible sob, his chest constricting, all eyes turn to him. Kurt and Blaine shift uncomfortably at the door, feeling as if they're intruding, as if this is somehow their fault that Nick can't remember Kurt. Nick's brow furrows. "Did I say something? Are you okay?" Jeff's tries to get something out, but his throat closes, and he continues simply shaking his head. "Holy shit, Jeff, what's wrong?" Nick's running at him, arms around him. "Jeffie? Talk to me, please."

Jeff doesn't know whether he _should_ tell him, but the words come out before he can stop them. "You know Kurt." Nick's arms stiffen, and an inscrutable expression falls over his face.

"No… I've never met him." His words come out slowly, carefully, as if he's hoping Jeff will change his mind and agree with what he's saying.

"Yes, yes you have. It's Kurt. You know Kurt. You _know_ him." He says it as if it'll somehow remind Nick, but Nick just looks at him blankly for a moment before his face falls.

"I'm sorry, Jeffie. I really don't – I can't –" There are tears forming in Nick's eyes as well, and Blaine and Kurt take it as their cue to say that they need to leave. Both of them helplessly stare at Nick and Jeff, and they give Jeff an apologetic, sad smile before walking towards the door. Jeff shakes his head, trying to compose himself. He can't let himself fall apart in front of Kurt and Blaine. "Jeff?" Nick's voice is low, and his eyes are fixed on Jeff, as if no one else is in the room.

Jeff takes a deep breath and shakes his head, pulling out of Nick's grasp. "I need water. I'll be in the bedroom in a second. Let me walk them out, okay?" He hopes that Nick takes the cue to leave. When Nick goes to follow him, his head snaps back. "Don't." For a moment he almost changes his mind as he seems the hurt and fear cloud Nick's eyes, but he can't face Nick right now. Still, guilt settles heavily in his stomach as Nick's face falls, and he gives a jerky nod. His shoulders slump over as he heads towards their bedroom.

They make their way quietly down the walk towards Kurt and Blaine's car. Jeff's hands are stuffed deeply in his pockets, and he focuses instead on breathing, trying not to cry. The silence is heavy and awkward, and eventually it becomes too much to bear.

"I'm sorry. Jeff, it isn't fair –" Kurt looks at a loss of what to say, but there's something about the way he's looking at Nick, with a _need_ to comfort him. As he goes for a hug, the moment breaks, though, and Jeff snaps again.

"No, it isn't fair." Jeff bares his teeth. "He's not supposed to forget you. He's not supposed to fucking forget anyone." His hand clench into fists deep in his pockets, and he lets out a low, angry hiss.

Kurt falls silent again, his brow furrowed as he searches for some words of comfort. Jeff's throat closes. He's tired of the pitying stares. He just wants someone to fix it. What's another sorry going to do? He's heard the phrase a thousand times over.

It's the way that Blaine reaches out to grab Kurt's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze that finally makes him break down. Though Blaine doesn't say it, he can almost hear his thoughts as he looks over at Kurt. _Thank God it isn't us._ Tears form at Jeff's eyes, and he can't help but think how unfair it is that he never got to choose.

He hugs Kurt and Blaine quickly before dashing back inside. He makes it over to the glass cabinets before breaking down fully. He stays as quiet as he can, not wanting Nick to hear. Nick's hurt face flashes in front of him, as he takes a gulp of water and stifles a sob. Pulling himself to the kitchen table, he sits there for another twenty minutes, cradling his glass, until the tears are gone and he's left with nothing but a low ache in his chest, Nick's words echoing in his head.

When he goes into the bedroom, Nick's fast asleep.

**March 09, 2025**

"I'm sorry." Jeff doesn't open his eyes, though from his breathing – the way it hitches when Nick speaks – it's obvious that he's awake. "I want to remember. You have to believe me." He reaches out, his fingers slowly running down Jeff's arm, dancing around and tracing small patterns against it. "Jeff, _please_," Nick's voice is low, and he reaches down to Jeff's fingers, squeezing lightly.

It's only then that Jeff opens his eyes. Last night's events swirl through his mind, and that low ache from yesterday slowly builds up again until Jeff feels like he might throw up. He takes a shaky breath and swallows thickly. "I know." Part of him almost wishes, in a sick, horrible way, that he was forgetting on purpose – that it was his fault. Then he could have something, _someone_ to blame. But with nothing and no one, it's impossible not to get frustrated and angry. All he wants to know is why; is that too much to ask?

"I love you." Nick's voice is quiet as his hand goes up to Jeff's face, his fingers running down his cheeks before petting his hair. "One of us has to remember that, so just…" He leans in and presses a light kiss on Jeff's lips. Though he's calm, he seems oddly resigned. "I love you," he repeats, and he pulls back to his chair.

"I love you, too."

**May 22, 2025**

Nick leans down, slowly pressing their lips together, his hands on either side of his head, pressing down the pillow. "Gorgeous. How are you so gorgeous and mine?" He chuckles before lifting his hand, tracing his pointer finger across Jeff's lips. Jeff can feel his throat tighten, and he parts his lips slightly, letting Nick's finger slip past before he sucks lightly on it. Nick shudders above him.

"Problem?" He cocks an eyebrow, though the act drops as soon as Nick's fingers dance down to the top of his shirt, playing under it.

"That you're still dressed? I think that's about it," Nick mutters, and his head drops down sucking on Jeff's collarbone. Jeff's hips arch up, and he wraps his arms around Nick. When Nick pulls back, before he can start fiddling with the buttons on Jeff's shirt, Jeff presses their noses together.

"I love you, okay?" Nick's face softens, and he kisses him again, this time their lips moving slowly against each other. Carefully, he sucks on Jeff's lower lip, pulling it back to worry it between his teeth. His hand moves up, and he runs it through Jeff's hair, tucking a bit behind his ear.

"It's more than okay." His nose nudges up against Jeff's cheek. "And I love you, too. Lots and lots." Slowly, Nick unbuttons Jeff's shirt, slipping it off his shoulders and down to the floor. For a moment, he just stares at Jeff's bare chest as if it's the first time he's seeing it. Then, he starts kissing downward, his hands moving to Jeff's hips.

"You – Oh, God," Jeff chokes out as Nick's tongue flicks over one of his nipples and sucks gently. His teeth scrape lightly against it, and Jeff arches upwards, his hands running down Nick's back. His fingers move to the base of his shirt before slipping under it, running up the base of his spine. Nick shivers above him, and he moans lightly as his tongue slowly run down his skin.

He presses light kisses down, his lips zigzagging from side to side. Jeff's fingers unfurl before clutching onto Nick's shirt. He whimpers, and when he looks down, his eyes meet Nick's. Nick pulls up for a moment, although his breath continues to tickle against Jeff's skin. "So gorgeous," he murmurs before dropping his lips down.

Nick's hands move to Jeff's hips, and they run along the waistband of Jeff's pants before moving to the zipper. Carefully, he undoes it, pausing to look up at Jeff with such wide innocent eyes that it reminds him of their first time. Jeff's laugh is quiet and breathy as one hand moves to Nick's hair, his fingers running through it. His hips lift off the bed to help Nick slide his pants off. They fall to the floor with a light bump.

Nick's eyes fall to the tent in Jeff's boxers, but he first presses a kiss to each hipbone. His lips linger, and Jeff's head falls back to the pillow. His eyes close, and he lets out a needy whine as Nick's finger dips underneath the elastic. Slowly, tugs the boxers down, and Jeff's hands tighten around the bed sheets.

Nick's fingers run down his hips to the inside of his thighs, following the light curve, and Jeff's breath hitches. "Nick…" The name comes out reedy and impatient, and he tries to find friction against nothing.

"Gorgeous," Nick repeats before following the pattern of his fingers and kissing up Jeff's thighs. Jeff's achingly hard, but there's something intimate about this. And while his body needs more now, he simply appreciates Nick's careful touch, as if he's blind and reading braille, attempting to memorize what's written on Jeff's skin.

Finally, he places a light kiss on the head of Jeff's cock, and Jeff melts against the bed. His fingers fist the sheets, and he lets out a choked groan as Nick's lips wrap around him. Nick's fingers fall, and he cups Jeff's balls.

It's as if his chest is tightening. Jeff breathes in sharply, and he holds it, trembling as he tries not to arch upward into Nick's mouth. Nick must realize because he does his best to make small shushing noises as one hand reaches for Jeff's stomach, and he runs the backs of his fingers lightly up and down.

Tensing, Jeff's eyes open again, and he lets out another moan as Nick stares unblinkingly up at him. Nick's lips are wrapped around his cock, and he lets out a light hum, the vibrations riding up Jeff's cock as he slowly slips down further. He takes in as much as he can before hallowing out his cheeks. His tongue drags along the underside as if feeling the weight of it, and he sets the pace.

He bobs his head up and down, and Jeff can only take so much before his head lulls back against the pillow, and his eyes shut again. His stomach tightens, and he lets out a low whine as he loses control, thrusting upward into Nick's mouth. Nick's pace quickens, and Jeff knows he isn't going to last long. Nick must sense it too because he pulls off with another wet pop.

Jeff writhes at the strain in the pit of his stomach, aching for that release. He whimpers, and Nick's hands run soothingly up and down his chest. "Patience, love. Here, turn over onto your stomach." Jeff follows his instructions immediately, and he waits, trying to find some sort of friction against the sheets as Nick grabs the lube and quickly sheds his clothes, dropping them to the ground.

Nick's careful with the preparation, going slowly as he stretches hm. He's careful not to give him too much. Then again, as Nick twists his knuckles in deeper, slowly pulling his fingers out before pressing them back in, Jeff can't help but rock back and forth against them.

When Nick finally presses a kiss to his back, he changes his mind. "Turn around. I want to see you when you come." His hand pulls lightly through his hair as if the request is nothing but innocent. Jeff obeys, wrapping his legs around Nick's waist as Nick aligns himself. After a moment, Nick lets out a low grunt, his lips pressed sloppily against Jeff's as he pushes in.

Jeff whimpers, and Nick gives him a moment to adjust before slowly pulling out and pressing back in. The whine that leaves Nick's mouth makes Jeff tense up, and he gasps, staring at Nick with wide eyes, their teeth scraping together as his lips move slightly to the side.

Their movements are jerky as if they're inexperienced, but they move together. It's slow. Despite the pressure in Jeff's stomach, he doesn't want it to end. His hands grip whatever skin he can. They run up and down Nick's sides before clamping shut. His breaths come in low, short pants, and he arches upwards as he tries to get Nick deeper. His legs tighten.

"Close."

The word is tense and hangs between them for a moment, and then Nick nods. His lips fall to Jeff's neck, nipping and sucking at the skin there, leaving a mark. His hand falls down to Jeff's cock, and he gives it a few languid strokes, off-tempo with his thrusts. Jeff's head buzzes, and his entire body fills with heat as he comes.

He buries his head in the crook of Nick's neck as he rides out his orgasm, with Nick milking him. Jeff's entire body seems to pulsate with warmth, and he whimpers and moans out Nick's name along with a drawn-out babble of words. Nick only takes a few more thrusts to topple over the edge as well, and he tightens around Jeff too.

They hold each other, Jeff pressing sloppy kisses to Nick's shoulder as he slowly comes down. For a moment they lie there, Nick pressed on top of Jeff. Their hair sticks to their foreheads with sweat, but they don't care. They stay like this for several minutes, breathing heavily and clinging to each other. Jeff, afraid to let go, stays pressed against Nick, listening to him breathe.

He's almost sure that Nick's asleep when Nick suddenly, finally shifts, peppering his face with kisses. Jeff's eyes water for a moment, and he smiles widely, his eyes staring up adoringly at Nick. "I love you," Nick says, and he finally pulls himself out. Jeff winces before shifting so that they're pressed together again, and he wraps his arms around Nick's waist.

"I love you too, Nicky."

If Nick says anything else, Jeff doesn't hear it before he drifts off to sleep.

**August 13, 2025**

Nick laughs, moving away from the bowling alley and going over to his chair, leaning back as he stares up at the scores. "100 to 120. It's not bad."

"Yeah, but I still beat you," Jeff says, grinning widely. "I'm still proud of myself for that double."

"Yeah, yeah…" Though Nick rolls his eyes, he can't help but let an affectionate smile take over his face. After a moment, he curls into Nick. "You're so soft."

"And you look tired." It's no surprise. These days, Nick seems to have bags under his eyes all the time.. Jeff doesn't mention that.

"Yeah. And you're really comfy right now."

"Come here." Jeff's arm wraps around Nick, and he lets out a yawn. "I guess I'm pretty tired myself." After a moment, Jeff lets out a low groan, and he reaches out for the beer. After taking a long swig, his eyes close, and he sighs quietly, content.

"I want some. Gimme." Nick's hands reach out, and he pouts until Jeff gives him the beer. Nick's eyes close as he gulps from it; when he finishes, he licks his lips.

"I needed that."

"I'm that much of a chore to be around, huh?" Jeff teases, nudging Nick lightly. Nick immediately laughs but shakes his head.

"No way, José."

"Just a little?"

"Not even a little," Nick says. He tilts his head up to press their lips together, and they wrap their arms around each other. Even when Jeff pulls back, he doesn't move far, leaving their foreheads pressed together as they look at each other and smile as if there's some special secret between the two of them.

A few minutes pass before Nick finally pulls back, groaning. "What's wrong?" Jeff asks, reaching down to squeeze his hand.

"I've forgotten how uncomfortable these bowling shoes get after a while," Nick whines, pouting down at his feet.

"Well, we haven't bowled since we were in high school." Stretching out his hand, Jeff gets up and smiles. "C'mon, we'll go get them off and get home." Nick grabs Jeff's hand and beams broadly before giving a firm nod. When he moves up, he wraps his arms around Jeff's waist one final time before heading towards the exit.

"That sounds absolutely fantastic."

**January 02, 2026**

Jeff lies, staring at Nick. He looks peaceful like this. If he tilts in closely enough, Jeff can see his eyes moving behind his eyelids, and he can't help but wonder what Nick is dreaming about.

Jeff's careful not to wake Nick up as he shifts in the bed so that he's tilted on his side. He's mere inches away from Nick, and he reaches out and lightly, carefully, run his fingers through Nick's hair. A small smile flickers on Nick's lips, and Jeff smile back.

Looking over to the window, Jeff can tell that it's a gorgeous day. The sun is shining through the crack in their curtains, and even through the light fabric, it's flooding the room. Outside, there's no wind, and there's a light titter of a bird's call. It's perfect for the picnic he'd been planning for a while. Slowly, he starts to make a list of what he'll need for it. It's Nick shifting around in bed that alerts him again, and Jeff focuses his attention back on Nick.

"Morning, baby," Jeff murmurs, pressing a kiss to Nick's temple. He feels bad for waking him. Nick's never been much of a morning person, and Jeff knows that he's usually unapproachable without his first cup of coffee. Still, it's unusual for Nick to completely stiffen as he does. "Nick?"

Nick's eyes are distant and guarded as he finally looks over at Jeff, and before he even speaks, Jeff knows that there's something terribly wrong. He seems so detached. He seems like he isn't Nick. Jeff wants to say something, but suddenly his words seem caught in his throat.

"Who are you?"


End file.
